1
00:00:11,278 --> 00:00:15,682
OK, Eric, define the powers
of the legislative branch.

2
00:00:15,749 --> 00:00:21,882
The legislative branch is responsible
for kissing the area below the nose.

3
00:00:22,723 --> 00:00:24,885
- We have a test tomorrow.
- You're absolutely right

4
00:00:24,958 --> 00:00:26,153
and I'm sick and tired
of you holding me back.

5
00:00:26,226 --> 00:00:29,424
Let's get some serious work done here.

6
00:00:30,097 --> 00:00:34,762
You know when you concentrate,
you get this cute little furled brow.

7
00:00:34,835 --> 00:00:36,895
Hey, hey, hey...
There'll be plenty of time for that

8
00:00:36,970 --> 00:00:41,237
and much more on the weekend.
How about right here, Saturday?

9
00:00:41,308 --> 00:00:44,642
Oh, wish I could, but my cousin's
in from out of town and...

10
00:00:44,711 --> 00:00:48,409
- I have to hang with her all weekend.
- I understand. Ditch her.

11
00:00:48,482 --> 00:00:52,419
- She's 13 years old.
- Ditch her at the zoo.

12
00:00:52,486 --> 00:00:55,354
- I can't get out of it.
- OK. Well, tell you what.

13
00:00:55,422 --> 00:00:58,256
How about if we double? Just so happens
I have a 13-year-old brother

14
00:00:58,325 --> 00:01:01,090
- who's currently available.
- Mmmm... what's your brother like?

15
00:01:01,161 --> 00:01:02,789
Cory's 13. What do you need?

16
00:01:02,863 --> 00:01:06,766
Well, Laurie's from Manhattan
and she's very mature for her age.

17
00:01:06,833 --> 00:01:10,065
Oh, then you're gonna love Cory.
You would not believe how mature he is.

18
00:01:10,137 --> 00:01:13,733
Ha-ha! Hey, guys, look at me,
I'm a fountain.

19
00:01:18,211 --> 00:01:21,045
I gotta show Shawn.
Shawn!

20
00:01:24,651 --> 00:01:28,383
OK, forget about Cory. What about
the squeegee guy by the bus station?

21
00:01:28,455 --> 00:01:30,219
It's no big deal.
We'll just get together in two weeks.

22
00:01:30,290 --> 00:01:32,282
No. I'll talk to Cory.
He'll be fine.

23
00:01:32,359 --> 00:01:35,523
He won't do the fountain. He won't
blow milk bubbles out of his nose.

24
00:01:35,596 --> 00:01:37,724
He won't even do armpit theater.

25
00:01:38,131 --> 00:01:41,533
Not interupting. Just passing through
to get a drink.

26
00:01:41,602 --> 00:01:43,161
As you were.

27
00:01:43,236 --> 00:01:46,297
- Who was that?
- That'd be Cory's friend Shawn.

28
00:01:46,373 --> 00:01:48,171
- So he'd be 13 too?
- Uh-huh.

29
00:01:48,241 --> 00:01:51,541
I didn't really want a drink.
I just heard Eric was down here

30
00:01:51,645 --> 00:01:53,841
with an unbelievably gorgeous girl.
And I gotta say,

31
00:01:53,914 --> 00:01:58,113
as I stand here with my own eyes,
it was worth the trip. Thank you!

32
00:01:58,185 --> 00:02:00,416
Once again, as you were.

33
00:02:02,889 --> 00:02:04,755
How about him for my cousin?

34
00:02:04,825 --> 00:02:05,588
- Shawn?
- Yeah.

35
00:02:05,659 --> 00:02:08,185
No. Cory's my brother.
I don't want to dump my little brother.

36
00:02:08,261 --> 00:02:10,890
I think my cousin
would have a good time with Shawn.

37
00:02:10,964 --> 00:02:15,698
And if my cousin has a good time,
we could have a good time.

38
00:02:15,769 --> 00:02:19,433
No, Cory's my brother.
Cory's my blood.

39
00:02:27,247 --> 00:02:29,580
Shawn has blood.

40
00:02:33,920 --> 00:02:35,912
Ah, Mr. Turner, a reminder.

41
00:02:35,989 --> 00:02:38,823
Our faculty advisor meeting
is today at 4:00.

42
00:02:38,892 --> 00:02:41,225
Today? Really?
4:00? Really?

43
00:02:41,294 --> 00:02:42,819
Is that the one
where we get saddled with all those

44
00:02:42,896 --> 00:02:48,802
terrible after-school, life-sapping clubs?
Oh, please, let it be that meeting.

45
00:02:48,869 --> 00:02:52,033
- Yes, that's the one.
- I don't wanna go.

46
00:02:52,105 --> 00:02:58,978
Well, unfortunately, you have no choice
about what meetings you go to, Mr. Picky.

47
00:02:59,046 --> 00:03:01,242
I'll see you at 4:00.

48
00:03:01,314 --> 00:03:03,044
- Shawn, bud...
- I didn't do it.

49
00:03:03,116 --> 00:03:05,813
I don't know where he is.
I don't have a dime.

50
00:03:05,886 --> 00:03:07,650
Stop clenching.
I'm gonna do you a favor.

51
00:03:07,721 --> 00:03:10,748
How'd you like to go on a double date
with me, Kim and Kim's cousin?

52
00:03:10,824 --> 00:03:12,986
- Why don't you ask Cory?
- Cory?

53
00:03:13,060 --> 00:03:16,121
You don't think I'd ask my brother first?
Is that what you think of me?

54
00:03:16,196 --> 00:03:19,325
No, no, no.
I don't think anything of you.

55
00:03:19,399 --> 00:03:21,231
All right, then.

56
00:03:21,301 --> 00:03:24,829
- So, what's she look like?
- Gorgeous, spectacular.

57
00:03:24,905 --> 00:03:28,774
Like Elle MacPherson
with Cindy Crawford's mind.

58
00:03:28,842 --> 00:03:31,334
- You haven't seen her yet, have you?
- I'm paying.

59
00:03:31,411 --> 00:03:34,142
She's just my type.
So where are we going?

60
00:03:34,214 --> 00:03:37,150
- I'm paying.
- I love it there!

61
00:03:39,586 --> 00:03:44,547
We need someone for the senior ski trip.
You look like you could handle yourself

62
00:03:44,624 --> 00:03:49,688
through a strenuous weekend
of physical exertion. Am I right?

63
00:03:49,763 --> 00:03:53,757
- Only if you come with me, Dot.
- All right.

64
00:03:55,268 --> 00:03:57,760
Chess Club Advisor -
that would be George.

65
00:03:57,838 --> 00:03:59,568
Why?

66
00:03:59,639 --> 00:04:00,902
What?

67
00:04:00,974 --> 00:04:04,069
Why "of course"? You said "of course."
Why did you say "of course"?

68
00:04:04,144 --> 00:04:06,079
I... I just assumed that you would...

69
00:04:06,146 --> 00:04:07,944
That the little man in the sweater-vest

70
00:04:08,014 --> 00:04:11,951
better not stray too far
from the dry cleaners?

71
00:04:12,018 --> 00:04:15,079
What are you getting so hot about?
It's just clubs.

72
00:04:15,155 --> 00:04:17,386
Any by the way, nice sweater-vest.

73
00:04:17,457 --> 00:04:20,859
You just automatically assume
that because I dress this way,

74
00:04:20,927 --> 00:04:24,591
because I speak this way,
that I was born to lead the chess club?

75
00:04:24,664 --> 00:04:27,065
<i>(all)</i> Yeah, of course.

76
00:04:27,134 --> 00:04:29,763
You're principal.
You want another club, you say the word.

77
00:04:29,836 --> 00:04:32,101
I don't want another club.
I just want everybody to...

78
00:04:32,172 --> 00:04:35,267
stop assuming around here,
that's all.

79
00:04:35,342 --> 00:04:38,574
I move that we all stop
assuming anything.

80
00:04:38,645 --> 00:04:43,015
Of course, you probably assumed
I was gonna do that.

81
00:04:43,083 --> 00:04:45,382
Wow...

82
00:04:48,188 --> 00:04:50,180
Sorry, honey.
I would've been home sooner,

83
00:04:50,257 --> 00:04:52,624
but they took a little longer with me
at the hairdresser...

84
00:04:52,692 --> 00:04:56,220
No big deal. I ran the house real good.
The kids had beer nuts for dinner,

85
00:04:56,296 --> 00:04:58,527
and now they're playing video games
in the bathtub.

86
00:04:58,598 --> 00:05:00,362
Father of the year.

87
00:05:00,433 --> 00:05:02,595
Mmm... thank you.
I'm off to my poker game.

88
00:05:02,669 --> 00:05:07,107
Have a nice time and thanks a lot
for the compliment on my hair.

89
00:05:07,174 --> 00:05:10,440
Oh, yeah, your hair.
It's really nice the way they got it...

90
00:05:10,510 --> 00:05:13,708
You know, the way they always get it...
like before.

91
00:05:13,780 --> 00:05:18,218
Honey, it's very different.
I got a weave this time.

92
00:05:18,285 --> 00:05:20,754
Really? 'Cause it looks just like
the way they always get it.

93
00:05:20,821 --> 00:05:23,416
You know, like they got it before.

94
00:05:23,490 --> 00:05:27,723
Well, it shouldn't,
'cause I paid a fortune for this.

95
00:05:28,762 --> 00:05:31,789
You have my undivided attention.

96
00:05:31,865 --> 00:05:35,358
Actually, it didn't cost as much
as you might think.

97
00:05:35,435 --> 00:05:38,098
I'm thinking... a dollar?

98
00:05:38,438 --> 00:05:41,875
Exactly! I paid a dollar.
Now go play poker.

99
00:05:41,942 --> 00:05:44,776
Beer, dirty jokes...
I'll bet ya they're telling some right now.

100
00:05:44,845 --> 00:05:46,871
- How much?
- I don't remember.

101
00:05:46,947 --> 00:05:50,679
Let me help you remember. You
probably wrote it down in your checkbook.

102
00:05:50,750 --> 00:05:53,379
100...

103
00:05:53,453 --> 00:05:55,854
...and 30.

104
00:05:55,922 --> 00:05:59,154
$130?!
For a haircut?

105
00:05:59,226 --> 00:06:02,128
Does... does that include airfare?

106
00:06:02,195 --> 00:06:05,427
Honey, that is what Rodique charges.

107
00:06:05,498 --> 00:06:08,957
Well, tell him to stop...
and get some of your money back!

108
00:06:09,035 --> 00:06:12,938
- Oh, I can't do that.
- Yeah, 'cause his name is Rodique.

109
00:06:13,006 --> 00:06:15,669
Well, next time you go
to someone named Fred.

110
00:06:15,742 --> 00:06:18,735
He'll charge you $20
and you can read <i>Playboys.</i>

111
00:06:18,812 --> 00:06:20,838
- Go play poker now.
- $130...

112
00:06:20,914 --> 00:06:24,180
Oh, yes, I love you,too.
All right...

113
00:06:25,719 --> 00:06:28,518
- Hey, Joe.
- Hey, how you doin', Curly?

114
00:06:28,588 --> 00:06:31,057
What do you got
for a single guy out on the town?

115
00:06:31,124 --> 00:06:33,150
Envy, my friend.

116
00:06:33,960 --> 00:06:37,089
Not tonight, Chubb.
I'm flying solo, just like you.

117
00:06:37,163 --> 00:06:39,394
Why aren't you hangin' around
with your pal Potsie?

118
00:06:39,466 --> 00:06:44,097
- I looked. I can't find him anywhere.
- Let's see who Chubbie can find.

119
00:06:44,170 --> 00:06:46,730
- 41!
- 41, that's me.

120
00:06:46,806 --> 00:06:48,798
Potsie!

121
00:06:49,242 --> 00:06:53,680
- Chubbie, that's amazing.
- Nah. You want to see amazing?

122
00:06:53,747 --> 00:06:55,739
62!

123
00:06:59,452 --> 00:07:01,921
Hey, Chubbie, you got any pie
with that burger?

124
00:07:01,988 --> 00:07:04,719
- You don't need it, King.
- OK, thanks.

125
00:07:04,791 --> 00:07:07,818
- But don't tell anybody I was here.
- Zip.

126
00:07:10,830 --> 00:07:13,265
- So Cory, how ya doin'?
- I tried calling you.

127
00:07:13,333 --> 00:07:15,234
- Where you been?
- I've been here.

128
00:07:15,302 --> 00:07:17,168
As it happens, I'm in mid-date.

129
00:07:17,237 --> 00:07:20,935
- Oh, yeah? Anybody I know?
- No, she's imported from New York.

130
00:07:21,007 --> 00:07:23,101
The windy city.

131
00:07:23,176 --> 00:07:26,704
- So, can I check her out?
- Sure, come on over.

132
00:07:32,419 --> 00:07:34,581
Shawn, don't take this the wrong way,

133
00:07:34,654 --> 00:07:38,250
but your date looks
a whole lot like my brother.

134
00:07:40,226 --> 00:07:41,626
Hey, Cor.

135
00:07:41,695 --> 00:07:44,221
She's got the voice down too.

136
00:07:44,297 --> 00:07:46,528
- So, what's going on?
- Eric and I are doubling.

137
00:07:46,599 --> 00:07:49,194
- The girls are just in the bathroom.
- Oh, you're doubling?

138
00:07:49,269 --> 00:07:52,171
Yeah, you know,
on the date you couldn't make.

139
00:07:52,238 --> 00:07:54,537
- The date I couldn't make?
- Uh, Shawn...

140
00:07:54,607 --> 00:07:56,439
Ha-ha! You forgot the drinks.
Here you go.

141
00:07:56,509 --> 00:07:58,501
Oh, yeah.

142
00:07:59,846 --> 00:08:02,475
See, he...
he forgot the drinks.

143
00:08:02,549 --> 00:08:07,283
So, Cor, only seven months
to your birthday, huh?

144
00:08:07,354 --> 00:08:09,585
Eric, tell me about the date
I couldn't make.

145
00:08:09,656 --> 00:08:12,125
It's not a date, like you know... date.

146
00:08:12,192 --> 00:08:15,720
It's just kinda me and Shawn and Kim
and Kim's cousin from New York.

147
00:08:15,795 --> 00:08:19,288
Just having dinner. But enough about me.
What do you want for your birthday?

148
00:08:19,366 --> 00:08:23,360
Eric, I want the truth. Why wouldn't you
ask me to come on the date with you?

149
00:08:23,436 --> 00:08:26,031
Hey, not now,
the girls are coming.

150
00:08:26,106 --> 00:08:28,439
- Kim, you remember Cory?
- I'm your brother. What's wrong with me?

151
00:08:29,509 --> 00:08:31,705
Oh, yeah.
You're the little boy who spits water.

152
00:08:31,778 --> 00:08:33,804
He spits water?
Why does he spit water?

153
00:08:33,880 --> 00:08:36,748
- For attention, I guess.
- Is it funny? Could I see it?

154
00:08:36,816 --> 00:08:38,808
Would you show it to me?

155
00:08:38,885 --> 00:08:41,821
I'm not feeling real funny right now,
but...

156
00:08:41,888 --> 00:08:44,084
I gotta head out,
so you guys just go back to your date.

157
00:08:44,157 --> 00:08:46,592
- Oh, come on, Cor...
- Eric, I'm fine, OK?

158
00:08:46,659 --> 00:08:49,254
Let's not push how fine I am.

159
00:08:49,329 --> 00:08:51,889
Cory, you upset with me?
Cory?

160
00:08:51,965 --> 00:08:54,400
- Cory. Come on, Cory.
- Eric, it's fine.

161
00:08:54,467 --> 00:08:57,960
And... thanks for remembering my name.

162
00:09:05,311 --> 00:09:07,303
Hey, Cory, you're still awake.

163
00:09:07,380 --> 00:09:10,714
Yeah, Mom and Dad always let me
stay up a little later than Morgan.

164
00:09:10,784 --> 00:09:12,776
That's good.

165
00:09:12,852 --> 00:09:15,549
Pretty funny running into you
at Chubbie's, huh?

166
00:09:15,622 --> 00:09:17,853
Funny like a clown funny?

167
00:09:17,924 --> 00:09:19,688
Look, Cor,
it's a really complicated situation.

168
00:09:19,759 --> 00:09:22,251
Eric, how complicated is it
that I'm your brother?

169
00:09:22,328 --> 00:09:25,230
I mean, how tough is it to think of me?

170
00:09:25,298 --> 00:09:28,359
- Kim didn't exactly want you.
- She didn't?

171
00:09:28,435 --> 00:09:30,301
No, but I swear I thought of you
right off the bat.

172
00:09:30,370 --> 00:09:32,805
- How hard did you push?
- I was sellin' real hard

173
00:09:32,872 --> 00:09:37,003
and you were looking real good.
Right up to when you actually showed up.

174
00:09:39,579 --> 00:09:41,810
The fountain hurt me?

175
00:09:42,582 --> 00:09:45,211
She was just looking for
a different type of person.

176
00:09:45,285 --> 00:09:46,878
- What type?
- I don't know.

177
00:09:46,953 --> 00:09:50,549
I guess she wanted her cousin's date
to be... kinda cool, kinda dangerous.

178
00:09:50,623 --> 00:09:52,990
And she didn't see me
as cool and dangerous?

179
00:09:53,059 --> 00:09:56,518
See, you have a less obvious
kind of danger thing happening...

180
00:09:56,596 --> 00:10:00,556
Come on, Eric. On that danger scale,
where would you put me?

181
00:10:00,633 --> 00:10:06,937
If pushed, I'd say you're just slightly
less dangerous than lime Jell-O.

182
00:10:10,210 --> 00:10:12,805
- This is what everybody thinks of me?
- Oh, no, no...

183
00:10:12,879 --> 00:10:15,007
Some people think lemon.

184
00:10:15,081 --> 00:10:18,245
Some people are wrong.
'Cause I'm dangerous.

185
00:10:18,318 --> 00:10:21,482
I'm outta control.
I'm... I'm...

186
00:10:21,554 --> 00:10:28,188
Cory, Mr. Buzzy had a bad dream.
Can he sleep with you where it's safe?

187
00:10:28,261 --> 00:10:31,254
I'm Jell-O.

188
00:10:31,631 --> 00:10:33,930
...and so, Harry Truman...

189
00:10:34,000 --> 00:10:38,768
the humble little sweater-vest
wearing man from Missouri...

190
00:10:38,838 --> 00:10:43,401
shocked everyone by bringing
World War Il to a swift and decisive end.

191
00:10:43,476 --> 00:10:48,039
And then, by winning reelection,
even when the press had counted him out.

192
00:10:48,114 --> 00:10:49,912
Ha-ha!

193
00:10:49,983 --> 00:10:51,975
<i>(bell rings)</i>

194
00:10:52,685 --> 00:10:57,988
Cory, during class I did something
I don't normally do - a lot of thinking.

195
00:10:58,057 --> 00:11:03,826
And not about that big war part Il thing,
but about you and me and the double date.

196
00:11:03,897 --> 00:11:06,833
And this is what I came up with...

197
00:11:07,800 --> 00:11:10,998
Oh, man, I had it a second ago.

198
00:11:11,070 --> 00:11:13,630
You're sorry for not telling me
you were going on the double date?

199
00:11:13,706 --> 00:11:14,730
That's it!

200
00:11:14,807 --> 00:11:16,708
But Shawn, it's not your fault,

201
00:11:16,776 --> 00:11:19,302
because you probably just figured
that Eric asked me first.

202
00:11:19,379 --> 00:11:21,371
That's it too.

203
00:11:21,447 --> 00:11:23,746
- So you're not mad at me?
- No.

204
00:11:23,816 --> 00:11:27,253
- So you're mad at Eric?
- No, I'm not mad at anybody.

205
00:11:27,320 --> 00:11:29,585
Everyone did exactly what
they're supposed to do.

206
00:11:29,656 --> 00:11:32,820
You guys went out with cool girls
from New York, and...

207
00:11:32,892 --> 00:11:38,092
I stayed at home and played Candyland
with my sister... and lost.

208
00:11:38,164 --> 00:11:41,464
That's who I am, Shawn,
I'm a Candyland loser.

209
00:11:41,534 --> 00:11:44,504
You're not a loser. I don't want you
thinking about yourself that way.

210
00:11:44,571 --> 00:11:48,941
- What did you do after Candyland?
- Me and Morgan colored.

211
00:11:49,008 --> 00:11:51,034
I can't see you like this.

212
00:11:51,110 --> 00:11:55,844
I mean, I stayed in the lines and all.
Mom even put mine on the fridge.

213
00:11:56,549 --> 00:11:58,882
Talk to him, man.

214
00:12:00,053 --> 00:12:02,648
Sometimes, you know,
you just have to...

215
00:12:02,722 --> 00:12:04,918
Shawn?

216
00:12:04,991 --> 00:12:08,928
- I'm all alone.
- Mr. Matthews?

217
00:12:08,995 --> 00:12:11,157
How are you, my boy?

218
00:12:11,231 --> 00:12:13,632
I don't... I just...

219
00:12:16,202 --> 00:12:21,470
Now, now, buck up. Everyone gets
passed over for a date now and then.

220
00:12:21,541 --> 00:12:25,376
Mr. Feeny, everyone here
thinks I'm safe and boring.

221
00:12:25,445 --> 00:12:27,437
Well...

222
00:12:27,513 --> 00:12:30,108
...difficult as it is for me
to relate to your situation,

223
00:12:30,183 --> 00:12:34,211
let me say that you shouldn't be
constrained by how people think of you.

224
00:12:34,988 --> 00:12:35,978
- George?
- Hm?

225
00:12:36,055 --> 00:12:38,650
The ski club and I were talking,
and we'd really love you to reconsider

226
00:12:38,725 --> 00:12:40,990
coming along with us
on the big weekend, huh?

227
00:12:41,060 --> 00:12:43,791
Look, we even found you
a nice ski vest, huh?

228
00:12:47,400 --> 00:12:50,700
Why, thank you, Jonathan.
But I'm rather busy right now,

229
00:12:50,770 --> 00:12:54,537
so could you stick it in your ear
'till I need it?

230
00:12:55,074 --> 00:12:56,940
You'd be surprised
how many people around here

231
00:12:57,010 --> 00:13:01,710
- think of me as stodgy and conservative.
- Aren't you?

232
00:13:01,781 --> 00:13:03,977
There you are.
My point exactly.

233
00:13:04,050 --> 00:13:06,918
You see my outer appearance
and you conclude

234
00:13:07,020 --> 00:13:11,890
- that I'm cautious and unadventerous.
- Like lime Jell-O.

235
00:13:12,659 --> 00:13:14,525
All right.

236
00:13:14,594 --> 00:13:19,225
If you let people's perception of you
dictate your behavior,

237
00:13:19,299 --> 00:13:20,927
you will never grow as a person.

238
00:13:21,000 --> 00:13:26,632
But if you leave yourself open
to experience, despite what others think,

239
00:13:26,706 --> 00:13:30,768
then you will learn and grow.
And when you grow and mature,

240
00:13:30,843 --> 00:13:37,977
then you can rub their smug little
earring-wearing noses in it.

241
00:13:39,352 --> 00:13:43,289
You know, we gotta show people
we're not what they think we are.

242
00:13:43,356 --> 00:13:45,655
- Yeah!
- I mean... everyone thinks we're...

243
00:13:45,725 --> 00:13:48,251
- safe and cautious.
- Yeah!

244
00:13:48,328 --> 00:13:51,662
We gotta do something... stupid!

245
00:13:54,767 --> 00:13:56,759
Uh, yeah...

246
00:13:59,839 --> 00:14:01,705
- Hey, baby!
- There you are.

247
00:14:01,774 --> 00:14:04,437
- I missed you this morning.
- Thanks for letting me sleep in.

248
00:14:04,510 --> 00:14:06,502
Well, you got in so late.

249
00:14:06,579 --> 00:14:09,447
So how was the poker game?
Did you have a good time with the boys?

250
00:14:09,515 --> 00:14:10,983
Same ol' same ol'.

251
00:14:11,050 --> 00:14:13,610
Whoa! Wait, whoa!
Freeze. Oh, yes.

252
00:14:13,686 --> 00:14:16,019
I see in this light
what you're talking about.

253
00:14:16,089 --> 00:14:17,421
With the weave and everything.

254
00:14:17,490 --> 00:14:19,322
Yeah, I can see where that
would take a lot of work.

255
00:14:19,392 --> 00:14:22,920
- A lot of time and money.
- Oh, well, thank you honey.

256
00:14:22,995 --> 00:14:27,091
So how did you come out?
Did you win or did you... you know, lose?

257
00:14:27,166 --> 00:14:28,327
- A little up, a little down.
- Hmm.

258
00:14:28,401 --> 00:14:30,927
Gordy just called a few minutes ago...

259
00:14:31,003 --> 00:14:32,767
- Gordy?
- Yeah.

260
00:14:32,839 --> 00:14:37,539
He was curious if you and I were still
on speaking terms after your $300...

261
00:14:37,610 --> 00:14:40,603
you know... loss.

262
00:14:41,848 --> 00:14:45,182
Listen, if I want to go out
and spend a night with the boys

263
00:14:45,251 --> 00:14:47,584
and drop a buck or two or 300...

264
00:14:47,653 --> 00:14:53,149
uh... it really shouldn't affect
whether we're on speaking terms.

265
00:14:54,193 --> 00:14:56,219
Are we?

266
00:14:56,863 --> 00:14:58,855
Puddin'?

267
00:14:58,931 --> 00:15:03,494
- You have my undivided attention.
- They called me names.

268
00:15:03,569 --> 00:15:06,061
Wally called me a wuss.
Burt said I was whipped.

269
00:15:06,139 --> 00:15:09,473
Gordy goes... <i>(clucking)</i>

270
00:15:09,542 --> 00:15:11,602
Hate it when he goes... <i>(clucking)</i>

271
00:15:11,677 --> 00:15:14,909
- Alan! How could you lose $300?
- The best card I got all night

272
00:15:14,981 --> 00:15:16,882
was a six of clubs.
What do you want me to do?

273
00:15:16,949 --> 00:15:18,474
Go ask for your money back.

274
00:15:18,551 --> 00:15:20,281
(both) You can't do that!

275
00:15:20,353 --> 00:15:22,515
<i>(both)</i> Oh, but I can do that?

276
00:15:22,588 --> 00:15:25,023
- OK.
- What do you have to show for your $300?

277
00:15:25,091 --> 00:15:27,060
I have a shirt that smells like smoke.

278
00:15:27,126 --> 00:15:29,652
Yes, and what do I have to show
for my $130?

279
00:15:29,729 --> 00:15:31,960
- The most beautiful hair that I ever saw.
- Thank you.

280
00:15:32,031 --> 00:15:34,364
That looks just like the way
they got it before.

281
00:15:34,434 --> 00:15:36,801
Kiss me and watch the hair.

282
00:15:43,709 --> 00:15:46,736
I'm thinking about hittin'
the batting cages. You up for it?

283
00:15:46,813 --> 00:15:50,648
Come on. I'm sure the kid that
laughs at you doesn't work there anymore.

284
00:15:50,716 --> 00:15:53,550
Cory? Dude?

285
00:15:58,825 --> 00:16:02,990
<i>(Cory) "Dear Eric, you think I'm safe?
Well, I'm not.</i>

286
00:16:03,062 --> 00:16:06,794
<i>"And to show you and everybody else,
I'm gonna look death in the eye.</i>

287
00:16:06,866 --> 00:16:09,131
<i>"I'm gonna laugh in the face of danger.</i>

288
00:16:09,202 --> 00:16:12,536
<i>I'm going to the amusement park
with Mr. Feeny."</i>

289
00:16:12,605 --> 00:16:14,039
With Mr. Feeny?

290
00:16:14,106 --> 00:16:17,975
<i>(Cory) "Yeah, with Mr. Feeny.
Don't try and stop me."</i>

291
00:16:21,514 --> 00:16:24,882
<i>(woman) In just a few moments,
Adventure Park right here in Philadelphia,</i>

292
00:16:24,951 --> 00:16:26,317
<i>opens what they claim to be</i>

293
00:16:26,385 --> 00:16:30,481
<i>"the most terrifying amusement park
attraction ever created."</i>

294
00:16:30,556 --> 00:16:32,548
<i>The Last Ride.</i>

295
00:16:32,625 --> 00:16:35,026
The park vows to open the ride
as scheduled,

296
00:16:35,094 --> 00:16:40,226
despite vigilant protest from parents'
groups, clergymen and NASA engineers.

297
00:16:40,366 --> 00:16:45,236
Although adventure park owner
Leonard Swindell claims the ride is safe,

298
00:16:45,304 --> 00:16:50,038
he is nevertheless requiring that
all riders sign a catastrophe waiver,

299
00:16:50,109 --> 00:16:55,605
indemnifying the park against
what Mr. Swindell calls "an act of God."

300
00:16:55,681 --> 00:17:00,210
Mr. Swindell, if the ride's so safe,
why the waiver?

301
00:17:00,286 --> 00:17:02,278
Things happen.

302
00:17:03,289 --> 00:17:07,056
Who would be foolhardy enough
to step inside this bullet car,

303
00:17:07,126 --> 00:17:09,755
for a 90-mile-an-hour
spine-shattering blast

304
00:17:09,829 --> 00:17:12,321
straight into the heart of terror?

305
00:17:12,398 --> 00:17:14,128
<i>(both)</i> Hello.

306
00:17:14,667 --> 00:17:17,728
Gentlemen, all I can ask is "Why?"

307
00:17:17,803 --> 00:17:20,773
Because me and my buddy George
are the two most fearless guys

308
00:17:20,840 --> 00:17:24,402
you'll ever meet.
And we laugh in the face of danger.

309
00:17:24,477 --> 00:17:26,207
Ha!

310
00:17:26,546 --> 00:17:30,313
Obviously your grandfather here
feels the same way.

311
00:17:30,383 --> 00:17:34,252
Young lady, I am not his grandfather.
I'm the thrill-seeking principal

312
00:17:34,320 --> 00:17:36,118
of John Adams High.

313
00:17:36,188 --> 00:17:39,590
And I would like to say hello
to my fellow faculty members,

314
00:17:39,659 --> 00:17:44,495
who I notice are not in line with me
here in the heart of danger.

315
00:17:45,498 --> 00:17:48,627
Right now, our brave adventurers
are climbing into the car,

316
00:17:48,701 --> 00:17:53,105
as they sign the park waivers,
which include an organ donation request.

317
00:17:53,172 --> 00:17:55,641
Here you are, help yourself.

318
00:17:57,944 --> 00:17:59,378
- What are you doing here?
- I got a note.

319
00:17:59,445 --> 00:18:01,812
- From Cory?
- From Feeny.

320
00:18:02,548 --> 00:18:05,814
Cory, get out of that car, it's not safe.
You'll kill yourself!

321
00:18:05,885 --> 00:18:09,686
Mr. Feeny... enjoy the ride.

322
00:18:09,755 --> 00:18:12,315
- George, what are you doing?
- You surprised to see me

323
00:18:12,391 --> 00:18:16,158
in such a precarious position
so far from the chess club, Mr. Turner?

324
00:18:16,228 --> 00:18:19,289
George, riding a roller coaster
is not the way to prove you're dangerous.

325
00:18:19,365 --> 00:18:23,132
Would you care to join me, Mr. Turner?

326
00:18:23,970 --> 00:18:25,199
Huh-huh... no!

327
00:18:26,105 --> 00:18:29,564
Cory, as your older brother,
I am telling you to get out of this car now!

328
00:18:29,642 --> 00:18:33,010
Oh, now you're so concerned for me,
now you stand up for me?

329
00:18:33,079 --> 00:18:36,106
Well, it's too late, I'm dead!

330
00:18:36,182 --> 00:18:38,947
- You're out of your mind.
- Dangerously out of my mind.

331
00:18:39,018 --> 00:18:41,214
Let's light this candle!

332
00:18:41,721 --> 00:18:44,452
I understand.
You proved it to me - you're dangerous.

333
00:18:44,523 --> 00:18:46,549
You don't have to do this.

334
00:18:46,626 --> 00:18:47,821
Next time there's a double-date,
you're going.

335
00:18:47,893 --> 00:18:48,986
<i>- (buzzer)</i>
- I'm going?

336
00:18:49,061 --> 00:18:51,530
- You're going.
- Oh! I'm going!

337
00:18:51,597 --> 00:18:53,862
Warp factor ten, Mr. Zulu!

338
00:18:53,933 --> 00:18:57,199
And they're off!
Straight up... straight up...

339
00:18:57,269 --> 00:19:02,867
And... straight down.
There they go, through the vertical flume.

340
00:19:02,942 --> 00:19:04,934
Dizzy!

341
00:19:05,678 --> 00:19:10,048
- Through the spinning wall of fire.
<i>- (both)</i> Hot!

342
00:19:10,583 --> 00:19:14,782
Now the screaming dive of death.

343
00:19:14,854 --> 00:19:19,417
And here they come,
back from their harrowing journey.

344
00:19:24,530 --> 00:19:26,999
Cory! Are you OK, man?

345
00:19:27,066 --> 00:19:28,227
- Aah!
- Cory!

346
00:19:28,300 --> 00:19:31,293
- Aah!
- Cory, it's all right!

347
00:19:33,973 --> 00:19:36,169
- Piece of cake.
- What?

348
00:19:37,376 --> 00:19:40,278
I threw up a piece of cake.

349
00:19:40,346 --> 00:19:41,336
George!

350
00:19:41,414 --> 00:19:42,973
- George?
- Huh?

351
00:19:43,049 --> 00:19:46,076
Weren't you in back when you left?
Talk to me!

352
00:19:46,185 --> 00:19:50,623
At one point,
I was thrown forward out of the car.

353
00:19:50,690 --> 00:19:53,922
I had to run in front of the car.

354
00:19:53,993 --> 00:19:57,521
George, I gotta tell ya, I'm never
gonna look at you the same way again.

355
00:19:57,596 --> 00:20:02,534
That took guts. And if you want
the ski club, you got the ski club.

356
00:20:03,235 --> 00:20:05,966
- Don't want ski club.
- You want the chess club?

357
00:20:06,038 --> 00:20:07,870
Don't want chess club.

358
00:20:07,940 --> 00:20:10,068
What do you want?

359
00:20:10,142 --> 00:20:13,510
- Want you to help get the kid off my back.
- Oh, OK.

360
00:20:13,579 --> 00:20:15,445
Come on.
Loosen the grip, loosen the grip.

361
00:20:15,514 --> 00:20:17,574
There you go.

362
00:20:17,650 --> 00:20:22,281
Jeez, Cor, next time a girl wants to go out
with the most dangerous guy I know...

363
00:20:22,354 --> 00:20:23,515
...it's you.

364
00:20:23,589 --> 00:20:25,581
- Really?
- Yeah.

365
00:20:25,658 --> 00:20:27,991
Can't believe you did all of this
because of me.

366
00:20:28,060 --> 00:20:29,892
I did do all of this
because of you, didn't I?

367
00:20:31,030 --> 00:20:35,161
Mr. Feeny, you probably did all this
because of Mr. Turner?

368
00:20:35,234 --> 00:20:38,136
Yes, Mr. Matthews,
I suppose that's so.

369
00:20:38,204 --> 00:20:41,538
- Eric, would you do me a favor?
- Anything you want, oh dangerous one.

370
00:20:41,607 --> 00:20:43,439
I left my shoe in there.
Would you get it for me?

371
00:20:43,509 --> 00:20:45,307
- In the back?
- Yeah.

372
00:20:45,377 --> 00:20:46,743
Where?

373
00:20:46,812 --> 00:20:49,543
- I don't see it.
- Help him find it, for Pete's sake.

374
00:20:49,615 --> 00:20:53,052
- Is it in the front there?
- It's not back here...

375
00:20:54,653 --> 00:20:56,622
OK, light that candle!

376
00:20:56,689 --> 00:20:58,681
Aah!

377
00:21:05,264 --> 00:21:07,256
Who's in... Wally?

378
00:21:07,333 --> 00:21:08,767
Burt?

379
00:21:08,834 --> 00:21:15,035
And Rodique... our very special friend
from the hair boutique.

380
00:21:15,107 --> 00:21:19,101
Which color chips are the dollars,
the magenta or the blueberry?

381
00:21:19,178 --> 00:21:20,874
The blueberry.

382
00:21:20,946 --> 00:21:22,676
My lucky color.

383
00:21:22,748 --> 00:21:26,185
- How many do I have to put in?
- Just one.

384
00:21:26,252 --> 00:21:27,777
Here she comes.

385
00:21:27,853 --> 00:21:32,120
All right, gentlemen.
The bad news... three tens.

386
00:21:32,191 --> 00:21:36,526
Well, that is very impressive, Alan,
and on many days,

387
00:21:36,595 --> 00:21:40,054
that would be a most winning hand.
However, today is special.

388
00:21:40,132 --> 00:21:43,125
For today, Rodique has...
how do you say...

389
00:21:43,202 --> 00:21:46,229
...a full boat.
Read them and cry.

390
00:21:49,141 --> 00:21:52,168
That's it, I'm busted.
I'm out. Go ahead, finish the game.

391
00:21:52,244 --> 00:21:53,906
Turn off the lights.
Nighty-night.

392
00:21:53,979 --> 00:21:55,140
<i>(Rodique clucking)</i>

393
00:21:55,214 --> 00:22:00,016
- What was that?
- I am not sure. It came from Wally.

394
00:22:00,085 --> 00:22:02,077
This game is getting totally out of hand!

395
00:22:03,189 --> 00:22:06,216
Sorry I'm late, boys.
But I got the pie.

396
00:22:06,859 --> 00:22:10,193
King, I'm busted.
Lend me a few bucks, will ya?

397
00:22:10,262 --> 00:22:12,731
How about $150 million,
will that do?

398
00:22:12,798 --> 00:22:16,132
- Yeah, that might buy a haircut.
- Maybe.

399
00:22:16,182 --> 00:22:20,732
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